Tuesday, October 30, 2012

忽視求救簡訊‧錯過開導兒子‧許崇明自責做得很錯 2012-06-16 

  • 許崇明告訴記者,他至今仍非常自責,沒有做好父親的角色,才導致兒子選擇自殺身亡。(圖:光明日報)
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(吉隆坡16日訊)“我到現在都很自責,這一切都是我的責任。我最大的遺憾是,沒有好好教兒子做人,也沒有和兒子溝通。"父親節這天,皮膚及醫學美容專科醫生許崇明想起因感情問題而跳樓自殺身亡的24歲兒子許優慶,更是痛徹心腑,並自責不是個好父親。
他甚至斥責自己是一名“做得很錯"的父親,因為兒子出事前的兩週曾向他表達“迷失"(Lost)的心情,並透露想在英國重新進修的意願,但他卻忽視兒子這封求救的“迷失簡訊",還責怪兒子懶散及不懂得珍惜,結果錯過了開導兒子的機會。
“我覺得我做到很錯,沒有教他怎樣做人,小的時候容易教;現在二十多歲,你跟他講,他會說你Bullshit(廢話)。"
許崇明在平復喪子之痛的心情後,已回返工作崗位,並在上班的第二天向《光明日報》暢談自己對兒子的悔意。
他說,兒子在出事前兩週曾透過手機簡訊聲稱自己“迷失“(Lost),但難以開口向他說明。
“我看兒子平常都很開朗,突然接到這樣的簡訊,覺得很訝異就打電話給他,可是他卻推搪說以後才說,我沒想到`迷失’兩字是代表自殺,原來事情已經那麼嚴重,更沒料到這是我們父子最後的通話。"

兒尋死前舉止反常
他披露,他在電話中曾詢問兒子是否學校老師的教學不好,影響了學習抑或結交了女朋友而感到煩惱,但兒子一一否認。
許崇明說,兒子於5月10日提前回家慶祝母親節時,已露出尋死端倪,當時兒子一看到母親,立即將母親抱得緊緊的,還說“媽咪,我很想念你",擁抱的力度幾乎令母親透不過氣。
“太太發現兒子的臉色不好,即使我們帶他去吃他最喜歡的螃蟹,他也是很安靜,不多話。太太後來 也注意到兒子一直躲進房間講電話,不過因我第二天要工作,所以一早就出門了,錯過與兒子聊天的最後機會。"“太太說,兒子回檳城前,也很用力的擁抱她,駕 駛跑車離開時,也不斷以倒後鏡望向她,感覺很依依不捨的樣子。"許崇明回想起兒子生前在尋死前的種種反常舉止,就越是非常自責,他稱,如果當時他捉到兒子 的求救訊號,他就不會在最後一刻跑去工作。

若時光倒流
想與兒促膝談心
許崇明說,如果時光能夠倒流,他最渴望的父親節禮物,是父子倆可以促膝談心。
他提及,兒子曾透露想到英國重新開始進修,他聽後就覺得很生氣,畢竟兒子成績不差,而且即將畢 業,沒理由要重新唸過,因此他氣得罵兒子懶惰。“我不知道兒子急著轉換環境,是想要脫離當前的環境。"他說,他那時“火遮眼",傳了一封簡訊給兒子說: “難道跟爸爸溝通那麼難嗎?爸爸每天勤力做工,有甚麼問題不能跟爸爸講呢?你好像相當懶散,你應該要勤力,要懂得珍惜。"“兒子向來做事瀟灑,凡事都看得 開,感覺他對學校或其他事情都不太在乎的樣子,沒想到,他卻是過不了感情這一關。"“兒子很重友情,可是相愛的女友,卻是好友之前的女朋友,沒有辦法打開 心結的陷入三角戀,最終為了成全兩人,他選擇自殺。"

送兒60萬元跑車
後悔溺愛孩子
許崇明因自小家貧,從小到大都為沒錢而煩,雖然日子很苦,但他最終靠著自強不息的精神,半工半 讀完成學業。自知吃苦難受的他,為了不讓孩子步他的“後塵",他儘量給兒子自由,並滿足兒子的物質需求,包括買下一部近60萬令吉的黑色寶馬Z4雙門跑車 給兒子,孰料,跑車買不到半年,兒子就已離開人世。
“我小時雖吃苦,但卻讓我更加堅強,並向著目標勇往直前,但兒子的生活卻太安逸,不愁沒錢花, 生活也沒目標。他死後,我才知道,孩子吃苦是好的,像感情不是你要就有的,如果承受不了打擊,往往會做出傻事。"經歷喪子之痛後,許崇明坦承,他至今更加 瞭解親情及生命的可貴,他認為心靈修養很重要,萬一遇到打擊,也不會讓人輕易迷失。
“如佛教所說,空空來,空空去,萬事皆空,甚麼都是空的,女朋友也沒甚麼。"

沒教好兒子讓他走錯路
許崇明感嘆地說,他從來沒有和兒子深入交談,最深的回憶則停留在兩人一起旅行及打球的畫面,那時他覺得自己與兒子有如兄弟和朋友。
“我們一家人很喜歡拿著美食書籍出外`找吃’,但現在我卻覺得這種事很膚淺,我應該讓兒子感受 到家庭溫暖,或父子倆一起完成某些東西,這樣會更有意義。"提及24歲的許優慶已擁有成年人的思維,責任不在父親時,許崇明卻說,兒子小時候的環境是他的 責任,他安排不好,才導致24年的今天,兒子選擇墜樓自殺。
“孩子生下來時,腦袋是空白的,他走哪條路或24年後走錯路,已經很難回頭,我覺得不是他的錯。"許崇明說,他很愛他的兒子,他不會將兒子遺忘,只是他遺憾的是,沒能讓兒子感受到更多父愛。

打算半退休
放慢腳步生活
許崇明感慨地說,以前他忙於工作,大部份的精力都花在事業上,但兒子離去後,他才發現親情的可貴,所以,他打算“半退休"放慢腳步。
提及仍在倫敦考試的女兒時,他說,女兒比他想像中還要堅強,得知哥哥離世後,女兒很快就重新振作,並認為哥哥是“大笨蛋"。
“兩兄妹的感情很要好,每次見面都會擁抱;哥哥自殺,她很傷心,但女兒不會讓這件事影響學業,反而繼續考試,還主動打電話來安慰我們。"將兒子部份骨灰帶回家另一方面,許崇明為了紀念兒子,將兒子部份的骨灰及骨頭帶回家,沒想到此舉卻讓太太感到害怕。
“不過,太太的心情一天比一天好,我會儘量安慰她,如果她還是很害怕兒子的骨灰及骨頭,或許我會再找其他地方安置。"他說,他們的新家有兒子喜歡的黑色作為基調設計,他曾一度想要改變,但還是保留原狀。
“我很愛我的兒子,我不會遺忘他,並會永遠懷念他。我只是很遺憾,沒有好好教導兒子做人,還有讓兒子感受到更多父愛。"

不責怪兒子女友
詢及是否看過許優慶的女友及好友時,許崇明說,他曾在醫院看見兩人,但他並沒有責怪他們。
“我不喜歡仇恨別人,自己看得開,即使仇恨也沒有用,反而害到自己。"他認為,感情讓人很傻,也相信這是兒子第一次的戀愛經驗,而且只有短暫的兩週而已。

父親節只想與孩子溝通
父親節落在6月17日,許崇明披露,女兒於6月20日才回國,因此當天並沒有孩子陪他慶祝父親 節。“等女兒回來後,我會抽空好好陪伴她,現在對我來說,父親節不是吃一餐飯,那麼膚淺而已,反而與孩子溝通才是最重要的。"他憶述,兒子以前在父親節曾 買禮物給他,但最後都是由他買單。
“兒子通常會用信用卡買禮物給我們,雖然有些東西不適合我,但那份心意我們感受得到。"他勸請 年輕人說,有些煩惱經過一段時間後自然會解開,因此應看開一點,勿鑽牛角尖。“你可以找一個能夠溝通的對象,像爸爸媽媽或明白事理的朋友聊天,這樣就能想 通許多事,很自然的就不會去做傻事了。"(光明日報‧報導:梁國忠)

Monday, October 29, 2012

The Memorial of Dr Richard Teo Keng Siang

Dr Richard Teo Keng Siang



Recorded at the Dental Christian Fellowship , on 24 Nov 2011, 8 months after his diagnosis.

Richard would have liked to share this with you. We are doing this to continue his work.

Please have a read and leave it behind for someone else to benefit from his sharing.

If you would like a copy, please let any of his family or close friends know and we will be able to provide both the audio recording as well as the transcript.

Thank you, and may God bless you richly.

Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who was a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer, sharing at a Dental Christian Fellowship Meeting. He would have liked to share this with you too.

HIS BACKGROUND

Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse from the chemotherapy, so please bear with me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I’m a friend of Danny’s, who invited me here.

I’d just begin to say that I’m a typical product of today’s society. Before this, I was talking about how the media influences us etc. So I’m a typical product of what the media portrays. From young, I’ve always been under the influence and impression that to be happy, is to be successful. And to be successful, is to be wealthy. So I led my life according to this motto.

Coming from a poor average family, back in those days, I was highly competitive, whether in sports, studies, leadership. I wanted it all. I’ve been there, done that. But at the end of the day, it’s still about money.

So in my recent last years, I was a trainee in ophthalmology, but I was getting impatient, cos I had friends of mine who were going out into private practise, making tonnes of money. And there I was, stuck in a traineeship. So I said, ‘Enough, it’s getting too long.’ At that time, there was a surge in protégés of aesthetic medicine. I’m sure you’re aware, aesthetic medicine had peaked over the last few years, and I saw good money in there. So much so that I said, ‘Forget about ophthalmology, I’m gonna do aesthetic medicine.’ So that’s what I did.

The truth is, nobody makes heroes out of the average GP in the neighbourhood. They don't. They make heroes out of rich celebrities, politicians, rich and famous people. So I wanted to be one of these. I dived straight into aesthetic medicine. People were not willing to pay when I was doing locum back in those days. Anything more than $30, they would complain that “Wah, this lo kun (doctor) jing qwee (very expensive)”. They made noise and they were not happy. But the same people were willing to pay $10 000 for a liposuction. So I said, ‘Well, let’s stop healing the sick, I’m gonna become a beautician; a medically-trained beautician.’

And that was what I did – liposuction, breast augmentation, eyelid surgeries, you name it, we do it. It was very good money. My clinic, when we started off, waiting time was 1 week; 1 month; became 2 months; became 3 months. There was so much demand that people were literally queuing up to have aesthetic work done on them. Vain women – easy life!

So the clinic grew. I was so overwhelmed, from 1 doctor, I employed 2, then 3, then 4 doctors, and carried on. Nothing is ever enough. I wanted more and more and more. So much so that we set up shop in Indonesia to lure all the Indonesian tai tai’s. We set up shop, set up a team of people there, to get more Indonesian patients to come in.

So, things were doing well. I’m there, my time has arrived.

Around some time in February last year, I said, ‘OK, I have so much spare cash, it’s time to get my first Ferrari. So there I was, getting ready for the deposit. ‘OK! There comes my first Ferrari!’ I was looking for land, to share with some of my friends. I have a banker friend who makes $5 million a year. So I thought, ‘Come, let’s come together. Let’s buy some land and build our houses.’

I was at my prime, getting ready to enjoy. At the same time, my friend Danny had a revival. They were going back to church, some of my close friends. They told me, ‘Richard, come, join us, come back to church.’

I have been a Christian for 20 years; I was baptised 20 years ago, but it was because it was fashionable to be a Christian then. All my friends were becoming Christians then. It was fashionable! I wanted to be baptised, so that when I filled in a form, I could put there “Christian” – feels good. In truth, I had never had a bible; I don’t know what the bible is all about.

I went to church for a while, after some time, I got tired. I said it’s time to go to NUS, stop going to church. I had a lot more things to pursue in NUS – girls, studies, sports etc. After all, I had achieved all these things without God today, so who needs God? I myself can achieve anything I want.

In my arrogance, I told them, “You know what? You go tell your pastor to change your sermon to 2pm. I will consider coming to church.” Such arrogance! And I said 1 statement in addition to that – till date, I don’t know I’ve regretted saying that – I told Danny and my friends, “If God really wanted me to come back to church, He will give me a sign.”. Lo and behold, 3 weeks later, I was back at church.







THE DIAGNOSIS


In March 2011, out of the blues – I was still running around, ‘cause I’m a gym freak and I always go to the gym training, running, swimming 6 days a week. I had some backache, and that’s all I had, but it was persistent. And so I went for an MRI to exclude prolapsed disc. And the day before I had my scan, I was still in the gym, lifting heavy weights, doing my squats. And the next day, they found that half my spine had bone marrow replacement. I said, “Woah, sorry, what’s that?”

We had a PET scan the next day, and they diagnosed that I had terminal lung cancer, stage 4B. It had spread to the brain, half the spine, whole of my lungs were filled with tumour, liver, adrenals…

I said, “Can’t be, I was just at the gym last night, what’s going on?” I’m sure you know how it feels – though I’m not sure if you know how it feels. One moment I was there at the peak, the next day, this news came and I was totally devastated. My whole world just turned upside down.

I couldn’t accept it. I have a hundred relatives on both sides, my mom and my dad. 100 of them. And not a single one has cancer. To me, in my mind, I have good genes, I’m not supposed to be having this! Some of my relatives are heavy chain smokers. Why am I having lung cancer? I was in denial.






HIS ENCOUNTER WITH GOD


So the next day, I was still in a state of denial, still unable to accept what was going on. There I was lying in an operating theatre in a hospital, for a needle biopsy (for histology). There I was, just completed the biopsy, and lying in the operating theatre. The nurses and doctors had left; told me I had to wait for 15 minutes to do a check X-ray to make sure there’s no pneumothorax (a complication).

And there I was, lying on the operating table, staring blankly at the ceiling in a cold, quiet operating theatre. Suddenly I just heard an inner voice; it was not like coming from outside. It was inside. This small inner voice that I had never felt before. And it said very specifically, it said, “This has to happen to you, at your prime, because it’s the only way you can understand.”

I said, “Woah, why did that come from?” You know, when you speak to yourself, you’d say, “OK, what time should I leave this place? Where shall I have dinner after this?” You’d speak from a first person point of view. You don’t say, “Where should YOU go after this?” Whereas the voice that came spoke as a third party. It said, “This has to happen to YOU, at YOUR prime, because this is the only way YOU can understand.” At that time, my emotions just overflowed and I broke down and cried, alone there. And I knew then, subsequently, what it means to understand that why this is the only way.

Because I had been so proud of myself, my whole life, I needed nobody else. I was gifted with things that I could do, why do I need anybody else? I was just so full of myself that there was no other way I could have turned back to God.

In fact, if I were diagnosed with stage 1 or 2, I would have been looking around busily for the best cardiothoracic surgeon, remove a section of the lobe (do a lobectomy), do preventive chemotherapy…The chances of it being cured is extremely high. Who needs God? But I had stage 4B. No man can help, only God can.

A series of events happened after that. I wasn’t sold after that, because of the inner voice, I became believing, prayers, all that. No I wasn’t. To me, it was just ‘maybe there was a voice; or maybe that was just me talking to myself.’ I didn’t buy the story.

What happened next was that I was being prepared for chemotherapy. I started off with a whole brain radiation therapy first; takes about 2 -3 weeks. In the meantime they prepared me for chemotherapy, supplements etc. One of the things they used for chemo was a thing called Zometa. Zometa - they use it to strengthen the bones; once the bone marrow (replacement) is cured of cancer cells, it becomes hollow, so we need Zometa to strengthen the bone to prevent compression fractures.

One of the side effects of Zometa is that it can cause osteonecrosis (bone death) of the jaw, and I had to have my wisdom teeth removed. Years ago, I had my upper wisdom teeth removed, cos it was giving me trouble. The lower ones didn’t give me trouble so I said, “Forget it, just leave it.” So of cause, Danny volunteered to remove it for me.

So there I was, lying there in a dental chair, asking myself, suffering all the side effects of radiotherapy, and now I have to go through wisdom tooth surgery. As if I’ve not had enough to suffer! So I asked Danny, “Eh, bro, is there any other way? Can I not go though this?” He said, “Yes, you can pray.”

I said, “What’s there to lose? Ok lah, pray lah!” And so we prayed. And we did an X-ray after that. Everything was all there, all the appliances and everything. And lo and behold, the Xray showed that there was no wisdom teeth in the lower jaw. I know most people have 4 wisdom teeth, maybe some have none, but to be missing one or 2, as I understand – I’m not too sure, as I understand – is not that common.

Still I was, “Nah, I don’t care about that.” To me, as long as I didn’t have to take out the tooth, I was happy. At that point, I still wasn’t sold on prayers. Maybe it was just a coincidence – for whatever it’s worth.

I continued meeting my oncologist, asking him, “How long do I have?” I asked him. He said, not more than 6 months. I said, “Even with chemotherapy?” About 3 – 4 months, he said.

I couldn’t grasp that. It was difficult to come to terms. And even as I went through radiotherapy, I was struggling everyday, especially when I wake up, hoping that it’s just a nightmare; when I wake up, it’s all over.

As I was struggling, day after day, I went into depression, which is the typical denial, depression blah blah blah that you go through. But for 1 reason, I don’t know why, there was this specific day that I was supposed to meet my oncologist. At about 2pm, I felt this sudden surge of peace, comfort, and in fact, a little happiness. It was just overflowing. For no rhyme or reason, it just came about 2pm, as I was getting ready, dressing up to meet my oncologist. So much so that I whats-apped all my friends that, “Bros, I just feel so good suddenly! I don’t know why, it just came!”

And it was only days, or was it weeks after, that Danny revealed to me that he had fasted for 2 days for me, and he was bargaining with God, and fasted for 2 dyas, and he ended his fast at that exact same point, about 2pm thereabouts, that this surge of sensation came to me for no rhyme or reason. And I didn’t know that he was fasting for me. And when he ended the fast, I felt that sensation!

Whoa, things were getting a bit too coincidental. I was starting to buy a bit of the story, but still I wasn’t sold. As days passed by, I completed my radiotherapy, about 2 weeks plus. Getting ready for chemo, so they let me rest for a few days.

See, the mortality rate of lung cancer : Lung cancer has the highest mortality rate. If you add up breast, colorectal (colon) cancer, and prostate cancer (the top few cancers in Singapore for men and women), if you add up the mortality rate of these 3, it still doesn’t add up to lung cancer. Simply because, you understand, you can remove the prostate, the colon, the breast, but you cannot remove your lungs.

But there’s about 10% of lung cancer patients who do pretty well for some reasons, because they have this specific mutation; we call it the EGFR mutation. And it happens, only 90% of the time, in Asian ladies who never smoked in their lives. Me, first of all, I’m male. 2ndly, I’m a social smoker. I take one a day after dinner; weekends, when my friends offer me, I take it as well. I’m a light smoker, not a social smoker. But still, my oncologist was still not hopeful for me to have this mutation.

The chances of it happening for me was maybe 3-4% for me to get it. That’s why I was being primed to go for chemo. But through all the intense prayers, friends like Danny, people that I don’t even know, it turned out that, during my waiting for chemo, the results came back that I was EGFR positive. I was like, “Woah, good news!” Cos now I don’t have to undergo chemo at that time, because there’s this oral tablet that you can use to control this disease.











Just to share with you some idea – this is a CT scan – thorax – of my lungs, before treatment.

AFTER BEFORE

Every single dot there is a tumour. You can see all the mets (metastasis) there. This is just one single plane. Literally I had it in both lungs, and I had literally tens of thousands of tumour. That’s why the oncologist told me, even with chemo, at most 3-4 months.

But because of this mutation, they have this oral medication. This is what happened after 2 months of treatment. As you can see over here; this is what God can do. And that’s why I’m still here having this opportunity to share with you. As you can see over here, the difference between before and after treatment.

At that point, I said, “Well, it’s to be expected, isn’t it? The medicine is good.” I’m still not buying the story. Well, the guys prayed for me and the tumour markers started to come down. 90% of the tumours were wiped out, and the tumour markers came down to more than 90% over the next few months.

But still, you know, once you have the clinical knowledge, you know the statistics. One year survival, two year survival; having all this knowledge is not a good thing. Cos you live with the knowledge that even with all this, the cancer cells are so unstable, they keep mutating. They will overcome and become resistant to the drugs, and eventually you’re gonna run out of medication.

So living with this knowledge is a huge mental struggle, a huge mental torture. Cancer is not just about a physical struggle, it’s a huge mental torture. How do you live with no hope? How do you live with not being able to plan for the next few years? The oncologist tells you to bear with it for the next 1 – 2 months. So it’s a lot of struggles as I went through: March, then April. April was my lowest point, in deep depression, struggling even as I was recovering.

HIS ACCEPTANCE & PEACE

And one of those days, I was there in bed, struggling in the afternoon, asking God, “Why? Why do I have to go through this suffering? Why do I have to endure this hardship, this struggle? Why me?”

As I fell asleep, in my dreamy state, a vision just came, that says Hebrews 12:7-8.

Now mind you, at this time, I had not read the bible. I have no clue what’s Hebrews, I don’t even know how many chapters there are. Totally clueless.

But it says Hebrews 12:7-8, very specifically.

I didn’t think too much of it. I just continued sleeping. Then I woke up, and I said, “What’s there to lose? I’d just check it out lah!” Danny had bought me a bible; it’s still quite new. I said, “It’s ok, just try.” So I flipped to the Old Testament. Hebrews to me sounds like something ancient, so it should be in the Old Testament right? So I flipped through the Old Testament. No Hebrews there. I was so disappointed.

Then I said, “Maybe New Testament, let’s have a look!”. WOW – New Testament, there’s Hebrew’s!! It says Hebrews 12:7-8. It says, “Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His children.”


I said, “WAH!! Where did that come from?” I was getting goose pimples all over my body. I said, “This can’t be, right?” I mean, what’s the chance of somebody, who has never read the bible, to have a vision of a chapter of a specific verse, that answers my question directly?

I think God called to me directly as I was there sleeping, struggling with it, asking God, “Why do I have to suffer? Why do I have to suffer this?” And God says “Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His child.”

At this point, the chance of that happening is even lesser than my EGFR being positive. There’s just no way; there’s so many millions of thousands of verses in the bible, how can I just conjure up something like that?

So at that point, I was sold I said, “YOU WIN! YOU WIN!!”

Ok , I was convinced. And so from that day onwards, I started believing in my God. And the last time I heard that inner voice was the end of April. And that inner voice, same thing, in the afternoon, as I was sleeping (this time I wasn’t struggling, just going to sleep). In a dreamy state I just heard Him say, “Help others in hardship.”

It was more like a command, rather than a statement. And that’s when I embarked on this journey, helping others in hardship. And I realised that hardship is not just about being poor. In fact, I think a lot of poor people are probably happier than a lot of us here. They are so easily contented with whatever they have, they’re probably pretty happy.

Hardship can happen to rich people; it can be physical hardship, mental hardship, social, etc. And also over the last few months, I started to understand what this true joy is about. In the past, I substituted true joy with the pursuing of wealth. I thought true joy is about pursuing wealth. Why? Cos let me put it to you this way, in my death bed, I found no joy whatsoever in whatever objects I had – my Ferrari, thinking of the land I was going to buy to build my bungalow etc, having a successful business.

It brought me ZERO comfort, ZERO joy, nothing at all. Do you think I can hold onto this piece of metal and it’s going to give true joy? Nah, it’s not going to happen.

True joy comes from interaction with other people. And at a lot of times, it is a short term pride, the past. When you pursue your wealth, Chinese New Year is the best time to do it. Drive my Ferrari, show off to my relatives, show off to my friends, do my rounds, and then you thought that was true joy? You really think that those guys who sold you your Ferrari, they share their joy with you? And your relatives, wow, they share this joy with you? In truth, what you have done is just to illicit envy, jealousy, and even hatred. They are not sharing the joy with you, and what I have is that short-term pride that wow, I have something you don’t have! And I thought that was joy!

So what we have is basically a short-term pride at the expense of somebody else. And that wasn’t true joy. And I found no joy at all on my deathbed, thinking of my Ferrari – to hold on to it, sayang it?!?

True joy I discovered comes from interaction. Over the last few months I was so down. Interaction with my loved ones, my friends, my brothers in Christ, my sisters in Christ, and only then was I able to be motivated, able to be uplifted. To share your sorrow, to share your happiness – that’s true joy.

And you know what makes you smile? True joy comes from helping others in hardship, and because I’ve gone through this, I know what hardship entails. In fact, there’re some cancer patients who tell me a lot of times, people come up to them and tell them, “Stay positive. Stay positive.” Yah, right. You come in my shoes and you try to stay positive! You don’t know what you’re talking about!

But I have the licence. So I’ve been going out to meet other fellow cancer patients, to share with them, encourage them. And I know, because I’ve been through it, and it’s easier for me to talk to them.

And most importantly, I think true joy comes from knowing God. Not knowing about God – I mean, you can read the bible and know about God – but knowing God personally; getting a relationship with God. I think that’s the most important. That’s what I’ve learnt.

So if I were to sum it up, I’d say that the earlier we sort out the priorities in our lives, the better it is. Don’t be like me – I had no other way. I had to learn it through the hard way. I had to come back to God to thank Him for this opportunity because I’ve had 3 major accidents in my past – car accidents. You know, these sports car accidents – I was always speeding , but somehow I always came out alive, even with the car almost being overturned. And I wouldn’t have had a chance. Who knows, I don’t know where else I’d be going to! Even though I was baptised it was just a show, but the fact that this has happened, it gave me a chance to come back to God.

Few things I’d learnt though:
1. Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart – this is so important.
2. Is to love and serve others, not just ourselves.

There is nothing wrong with being rich or wealthy. I think it’s absolutely alright, cos God has blessed. So many people are blessed with good wealth, but the trouble is I think a lot of us can’t handle it. The more we have, the more we want. I’ve gone through it, the deeper the hole we dig, the more we get sucked into it, so much so that we worship wealth and lose focus. Instead of worshipping God, we worship wealth. It’s just a human instinct. It’s just so difficult to get out of it.

We are all professionals, and when we go into private practise, we start to build up our wealth – inevitably. So my thought are, when you start to build up wealth and when the opportunity comes, do remember that all these things don’t belong to us. We don’t really own it nor have rights to this wealth. It’s actually God’s gift to us. Remember that it’s more important to further His Kingdom rather than to further ourselves.

Anyway I think that I’ve gone through it, and I know that wealth without God is empty. It is more important that you fill up the wealth, as you build it up subsequently, as professionals and all, you need to fill it up with the wealth of God.

I think that’s about it. It’s good to share. Thanks.
Eric Tham added a memorabilia for Dr Richard Teo Keng Siang

 

Weekly Reflection <What to FAST for LENT? >